i’m in a state, afraid yet unafraid,
feeling like i’m destined to bring this china shop crashing
down around my taurine shoulders.
and you speak peace to my doubts–
but my doubts are loud when you’re away,
so i have to walk through the litany of your attentions
the rosary of your encouragements
the catechism of our conversations
to remind myself that flowers still bloom and stars still
shine and you still want me to come around and
all is still well–and maybe after a few weeks
i’ll settle down and set my heart at ease, trusting in your
quiet stillness, but you know already that my nature is
more prone to noise and movement and
flashes of fire and floodwater
so it may take me a little time to match your calm exterior.
and you smile and favor me with the softest brown eyes
that i have ever known. and somehow my pulse both
quickens and slows, as i begin to open up my frantic, fearful heart
to the care of your tender hands.